After watching Trinny & Susannah's The Great British Body, in which they subjected many members of the public to a series of measurings, weighings and proddings, i could almost become afraid to walk the streets of this green and pleasant land lest these fair damsels pounce upon my own mortal flesh and devour me.

The message was to be proud of one's body and to love what nature has given you, the public involved spoke of empowerment, freedom and liberation, which is all very well on a balmy summers day but some of the gentlemen might have been less forthcoming had it been bitterly cold midwinter.

The naked body can be beautiful to behold but it may also be quite terrifying, as in the case of the extremely elderly lady who was invited to strip-off before the gathered assembly, which (thankfully) she graciously declined but not before i'd yelled Nooooooo!!! at the television set.

It's quite reassuring to discover that most other people are also prone to bodily subsidence, sagging and being generally out-of-shape, a nice change from having fit, well-toned bodies paraded before us as a reprimand to our own feeble examples of the human form.

Although we're all built to the same basic design, the variations in the naked human body are almost endless, with most pleasure for me being not in viewing lifes Barbies or size-zeros but in the glorious sight of a curvacious, womanly figure shaped as nature intended...love-handles, stretch-marks, spare tyres and all.

The question therefore remains; if you were asked to strip-off with Trinny & Susannah, would you? In public, i wouldn't dare but somewhere private..? I'll just say that i can think of worse things than being the meat in that particular sandwich.

trinny&susannah

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