Autumn, we sense the cooling atmosphere that heralds the approach of winters' icy wastes, the shortening days, the darkening evenings, the falling leaves, cold noses and toes.

In the woodlands, the fairies busily prepare themselves for the months ahead, storing up morsels of cake and tiny bottles of blackberry wine while the goblins skulk 'neath the hedgerows gleefully plotting the wicked, winter mischief ahead.

The hedgehogs make ready for one never-to-be-forgotten party during which they'll dine like kings on baked beetle, roasted slugs and worm casserole before stumbling off to bed amongst the fallen leaves to sleep off their drunken excesses until spring arrives.

Below the foaming waves, entire shoals of fish-fingers dart hither and thither, seeking out prey to tickle en masse, their instincts driving them on to get mittens knitted for the Arctic-like conditions that fast approach.

Even the toothless old witch delves deep and retrieves her woolly winter drawers for yet another seasons service, making a whole host of moths homeless and bewildered. She casts her summer pair onto the bonfire and fills the cold air with noxious fumes while her black cat stares.

It happens every year but still we look to one another as the temperature falls, wondering if somebody, somewhere has left their fridge door open.


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