School meals seem to be newsworthy these days so i'll have my own say on the matter...the dinners they feed the kids on today are filled with nutrients, protein, vitamins and lots of other crap like that, things that would probably have turned my stomach when i was young.

How sorry i feel for the modern child, conscripted into healthy eating before they know better.

In my day, it was nothing but good old fashioned British stodge: cold, lumpy mashed potatoes, watery vegetables accompanying gristly and unidentifiable meat.

The British Empire was built on stodge, with dinners and puddings that would stick to your ribs, leaving you with the impression that you'd just consumed a bucketful of wet cement.

The staff of life was suet, terrifyingly mammoth meat puddings pursued down the gullet by equally daunting sweet puddings drenched in thick treacle or syrup.

Our idea of sophistication was the chocolate rice krispy cake.

And many was the time we were subjected to those unholy and unwholesome desserts, semolina and tapioca; the former being the very epitome of dreary English slop whilst the latter resembled something that had been ejaculated by some hideous beast spawned in the depths of hell.

Even now, those glorious lunchtime memories leave me misty-eyed. In fact, i can still hear the dinner bell resounding down the years, calling me to be brave and take-up my cutlery for battle once again.
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