"I say, do you mind awfully just falling in?"

As another years wheezes and dies, my thoughts dwell on the future and i wonder what sort of old person i'll become. This is, of course, still years away, but not as many years as i'd desire and my reflections have led me to one conclusion regarding my autumn years.

i've set my sights on Dad's Army for my inspiration, settling on no lesser figure than Sgt.Wilson, a true gentleman and indeed, a gentle man. He always had a wondering smile playing around his lips as he contemplated the follies and foolishness of his companions, always had a witty remark to mumble to himself, was most courteous and accommodating to the ladies and the very soul of politeness and discretion.

This was no rash choice however, for a brief while i considered becoming Private Godfrey, another adorable old gent who seemed to live solely on the cakes baked by his sister Dolly and was frequently asking to be excused, due to his aged and weak bladder but he was simply too nice and too doddery for my aspirations.

I'm too laid-back and placid to even contemplate being the irrascible old Private Fraser, although his ghost stories were constantly a delight to hear. I've known many people who could easily be the pompous Captain Mainwaring but he is not for me, nor is the panic-stricken and foolish Corporal Jones. When i was younger, i was too shy to have been Private Walker and too mature to have been Private Pike.

Here i am then, or rather, here is my future self, Sgt.Arthur Wilson of the Walmington-on-Sea platoon, spending his time between pottering in the office, defending the realm and paying untold compliments and courtesies to Mrs Pike, whim whom he has always had an understanding.

Upon retirement, i shall largely devote myself to gazing into the middle distance with an air of quiet amusement and absent-mindedly licking my lips as i reflect upon a life well lived. I shall take tea at precisely four every afternoon with perhaps a plate of crumpets or a cucumber sandwich, i will permit myself the odd glass of sherry and continue to smile wistfully as i cast my world-weary eyes upon mankind in general.

Do you think that's wise?
sgt.wilson

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