I think most people call it shopping, that seems to be the term that i hear most, but to me it will forever be 'bumwatching', the only enjoyable portion of the entire consumer experience as far as i can see.
Not just at this festive time of the year but throughout the whole calender, i find little amusement in the hustling crowds, queues of cars, parking hassles, idle spotty teenagers working the checkouts and certainly not the lugging around of vast tons of goods or, indeed, the part where i have to part with my money for the pleasure!
I know the ladies enjoy a good days shopping but i'm pretty sure that i'm not alone as i inwardly sigh whenever that particular chore has to be faced, yes it has to be done but the thought of doing the groceries online appeals more and more each week...or it would if it wasn't for one little perk of the trip...
As i guard the trolley in the aisle, while Sharon dashes to and fro collecting the various (seemingly endless sometimes) items for our collection, my tired eyes are subjected to an constant stream of bums, bottoms and butts which hurry by on their own journey though the supermarket to the tills.
My gaze is drawn as if by an irresistable power of magnetism to all manner of these wonderful features of the female form; big bouncing round bottoms, tight and petite bottoms, beautifully shaped bottoms, out-of-shape bottoms, the variation is utterly breathtaking!
Some are clad in skin-tight jeans, others in skirts or dresses, my expert eye seeks them all out, missing nothing, and silently appreciates the appealing curves that scurry past my view.
Sometimes it's a pity to reflect on the fact that some women will never see for themselves their finest feature, but they should all be happy that the sight of their wiggling rears brings a smile to many a face who watches them go by from the corner of a beady eye.
Bless them all, each and every one, as they go on sometimes hurriedly, sometimes leisurely, on their way through the shops. They are my little rays of sunshine amongst the tins of beans or peas, the silver-lining in the gloomy cloud of supermarket stress; the reason why my lip curls into a barely-noticeable smile every time we have to go shopping. Bumwatching makes a day pass a little more pleasurably for me, give it a try sometime!
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blond_lucy
You sound just like my mate Andy. He never misses going shopping on a Saturday afternoon with his girlfriend. He waits outside the shops so he can ogle women. :-)
Lucy